I sit at the table with around 30 other people, I see patches of colors, blurred silhouettes, I hear voices..
I can’t distinguish any sounds..
I’m losing it.
I try to grab myself together.. I stand up, leaving my seat for my partner.
And take a walk around the room.
I think about leaving, I think about my final submission after two days, I think about my medical condition..
Also, I think about the conference.
The four-day conference.
I recall last year’s GUCMUN conference, I recall last year’s experience, how I regret the few sessions I missed from the conference, how I missed out the outings and gatherings. How I didn’t fulfill the experience.
I go around searching for something sugary to drink, something which might make me stand stronger till the end of the day.
Finding none, the argument keeps going on my mind.
I grab a cup of water taking it all in one sip, hoping this would be my medicine for today.
I go back to the room, stand behind the table, try to concentrate to what the delegation speaking is saying, whether it is attacking me or my alley.
The patches of colors merge together forming the picture that I’ve been seeing back in my mind and in my dreams for a couple of months now, the voices speaking in the diplomatic manner, the way I keep hearing them since last year’s conference. The side talks, the deals, the arguments and fights..
The blurred silhouettes come into focus. I can see the beautiful people I am grateful that I’ve met, the people that have changed me, and are currently changing this world.