Dispersion

Things I’ve dreamed about for years have happened.

Ideas I thought of were on their way to be implemented.

Things turned the way I wanted.

And Finally,  I ‘settled’ down.

Yet, I’m messed up.

Anything I would’ve wanted a year ago has happened now.

What I’ve been crying for is here.

Yet, I’m messed up.

Maybe I thought these were what i was crying for.

Maybe I was mistaken.

Maybe I don’t know what I once cried for.

What I once wanted.

I look around me, with teary eyes..

I donno what I’ve become.

A pale face, a curse it is,

That doesn’t wanna leave me alone.

In the darkness of my room,

The pale pink walls,

The orange light of the table lamp,

The boundaries of my universe.

I look at the mirror, blurred my vision is,

I write what has come on my mind.

With the terrible grammar I’ve learnt at school,

I realize I’m losing  the topic.

I’m drifting away as my mind always did.

The state of disperse that has haunted me ever since.

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