She speaks all day. Suggesting things, arguing about others. She never stops. I scream at her a couple of times.. her voice becomes louder and tougher everytime. She’s obviously angry that I’m trying to shut her up.
I try to deviate my attention from her.. but she never lets go. Even in my sleep. She’s in all my dreams screaming and shouting words and images. And when I wake up it’s like I’ve never slept.
And while I’m waiting for the bus, Her voice becomes even louder. I was glad that soon I’d be in college and I’ll be busy enough not to hear her.
But she still doesn’t stop. And I can’t really shout at her in the middle of the bus, So I took a deep breath, Shut my eyes tight..
“I’m sitting on a chair on a terrace.. I can see the sunset, the sky bursting in colors: red, orange, yellow, pink and violet. The cool breeze trickling my face and my white cotton dress. The sound of waves crashing like a background music.
The terrace is on a cliff overlooking the vast pacific ocean. The ocean has always scared me. The vast, endless, deep ocean.. It’s scary. “
I open my eyes.. and I wait. I can’t hear the voice again. It’s gone.
Written in April 24, 2012.