In any one’s life, there must be major points when one changes  regarding personality, mind, knowledge, social position or economic situation. In my so-far journey there has been a couple of these points.

          The earliest I can remember was when I first moved to the UAE some 12 years ago. As an Egyptian child who heard and spoke nothing but Egyptian dialect and few English learnt at school, the sound of other Arabic dialects was weird enough that communicating in English was sometimes much easier. I remember my first day of school when I asked the girl sitting next to me (who happened to be Lebanese) for an “asteeka” . She didn’t understand me until I pointed at it and translated in English.


“Oh you mean Mahaya“. She replies.

A year passes and people thought I was a Lebanese or Syrian.


          Nine years later, IGCSEs hit me hard for two consecutive years. I studied like never before to achieve my dream.

 8 A*s.

And the night came, determining a future, determining a dream. I waited in front of the computer screen hours before the announced timing.

The family gathered around asking me every now and then whether the results were published or not.

Every time I refreshed the page, my heart danced all over my chest till the awaited moment had arrived.

My eyes suddenly blurred and I couldn’t read halfway the list.

Tears found their way down my cheeks.

Although I only got 7 A*s and an A, but for the first time in my life, I felt the happiness of success.


Standing in the morning assembly in 8th grade:

“Stand straight in your line to grow and become tall like Marwah.”

I heard a voice on the side.

It was my grade 5 math teacher telling a student of hers to be respectful. And yes she pointed at me as a role model!

          True I was the kind of student loved by her teachers. They spoke of me to the next generations in school about how behave I was. I’m not showing off about what kind of kid I was or anything it’s just that.. (well read the rest of the story below..)

I was the quiet one, the one who never ever broke the rules,  the unwritten rules. I was the serious-first-on-her-class kind of kid.

you can say I was  kinda Nerd.

Until I decided that enough is enough.

And surprisingly enough, this change took place during my years through IGCSE. When I decided that a kind of fun is  always a must not necessarily by breaking the rules.

And I changed.


          I had to leave my family the first two years of university. I lived at my grandparents’ house in the toughest time in Egyptian modern history: The revolution  of 25th of January 2011.

          Which is not really the point. But leaving my parents had definitely turned me into something else. I was alive and not alive, I was mad and  very moody, I shouted and screamed at people in university for no apparent reason. I cried every night before sleep and I dreamt of AD.

Oh how sweet was AD, how prefect it was.“, I always thought.

          Unfortunately people in university thought this was how I am: this mad person. I used to look at the ghost in mirror, her face pale, her smile long gone.

          After two years, they come to live here.  Whenever my friends ask me to go out for a whole day or sleepover their place I don’t accept. I learned the importance of family.


I’ll write it down once I’m finished

                Many times I start speaking things in my mind until I realize it should be worth written down. But the nearest pen and piece of paper is in the other room. And I’m eating right now.

I’ll write it down once I’m finished.

When I get to the piece of paper it’s not there anymore.

It’s all gone.

                The perfect words to be written usually come (in my case) in the very wrong times: while having lunch, bathing, or about to close my eyes for a good night sleep. but what can we do? inspiration comes just spontaneous. Never with introductions.

                In my university we have a seven-hour architectural design exam. I never get to understand why we even have that, I mean what if I didn’t get any inspiration during the seven-hour exam? what if inspiration knocked the door an hour later?

And that’s the thing, You cannot decide when to be inspired. It just blows whenever it wants.

                I know some people may argue that, you can do things that’ll help you get inspired. but then, it just puts you on the right track of thinking but it’s still up to inspiration to blow whenever it feels like.

                And this time it blew while I was relaxing on the bed, but lucky enough I had the computer right by me.